Dealing with collectors

How exactly did I talk to these collectors-cum-legal-officers? For a time, I thought I was handling them very well.

"OK, if you say my case is good for that, then so be it, I couldn't possibly meet your terms."
"I'm not hiding from you, if I am then I wouldn't be talking to you right now, but don't expect me to sit here and wait for your call."
"That's impossible, I couldn't have possibly incurred that much interest, if you can't show me exactly how you computed this, then I don't have time for you."
"Cursing me won't make me move my ass to pay you."
"I hope I'm the last person you'll have to say those words to. If you're on a quota or something, you don't have to lash out your mediocre performance on me."

I guess not.