Gloomy weather

The gloomy weather reminds me of the time I felt the same gray skies surrounding my existence.

It was all too easy, you get a credit card, swipe it for things you need, pay for it when the bills come. But what when there's 5 to swipe, what when the swiping becomes a habit, and the habit is hard to break you thought it's helping you more than the trouble looming?

I have 5 credit cards with credit limits: 20k, 20k, 30k, 12k, 140k that's 222k in total. How I have used up all of them is not a mystery, all along I know it's a disaster waiting to destroy my financial well-being.

At first I swore to use them only on emergencies, which I really did. But what if dining out, shopping, gifts, novelties have become emergencies? I guess there's no stopping to the lure of these plastics.

And when it's time to pay, and there's really only empty pockets to dig in, that's when the world turns around and hit at you: you have just become a victim of your own greed...

My darkest hour is when my wife looked at me and said:

"I don't know what I'll do if it's true you'll get imprisoned with all these crazy credit card debts."

Of course I'm still free. And the word free, hit me hard, that I almost forgot that it's one of the greatest gift we've ever had--the freedom of choice. And I chose to get free and start all over again...